The Importance Of Being A Vulnerable Mom
Today, Reagan is 9 months old. I've been so emotional all day realizing that I carried her for the same amount of time she has carried me. Being a mom has been the most vulnerable, restrictingly FREEING thing I have ever done in my entire life. It's amazing, we have these little humans "given" to us, and they are so tiny and perfect and full of wisdom. She's taught me so much, and just being her mom has taught me even more.
From the time I had been through the trauma of labor, had to have other women help me use the restroom and tend to wounds I couldn't. From the time I had to bare it all in front of a crowd of professionals to feed my child. To the first week of motherhood- sobbing because I just didn't know if I was strong enough... good enough, to raise this perfect angel. From all of those raw and tender moments, I've chosen vulnerability- and it's chosen me.
What does it mean to be a vulnerable mom? Does it mean that I'm weak? Does it mean I have to cry? Does it mean I have to share EVERYTHING on social media? A resounding NO to all of the above.
Being a vulnerable mom means opening your heart. It means being honest with your feelings to the people you love and trust. It means being willing to form a connection with your husband, mom, friend... it means accepting support, love, and help.
I learned (and am still learning) that when I'm being closed off, and trying to "go it alone" -those are my absolute darkest times. The times when I'm relying on myself alone to get through tough times. When I'm not open to love or help. When I just want to shut myself in a room and feel sorry for myself.
There have been about 3 times in my own motherhood when I have found myself in a pretty dark place. If you know me, I am a very joyful person... almost always! But I am human, and the weight and responsibility of motherhood got to me. Every single time was fed by self induced lonelines, pity parties, and silence treatments. And every single one was cured with heartfelt, honest, open conversations with the ones I love the most.
I have made it my mission to connect with other women and moms by being vulnerable online. I like to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly. The funny and the hard. This has been freeing and fulfilling for me, and has become one of my greatest joys. But you definitely do not have to bare it all online to be a vulnerable mom. What you do need to do, is open your heart to trust a handful of people with your truth and honesty. Having an open heart makes us happier, lighter, less likely to hold a grudge. But most importantly, it allows us to love, and to teach our children to love- by example.
The absolute best thing we can do for our children is to show them how to love themselves and others. Give yourself the grace to love yourself! Open your heart to the ones you trust and they can help lift you up. I promise, it will change your life.
XOXO,
Alex
