Turning Fear into Faith — The Candied Lemon

I just got my 6 week old baby down to sleep as I sit down to write this. I've been trying to get to my computer all day. I'm currently holding my breath in the hopes that she stays asleep for more than 10 minutes this time. She's stirring.

You see, for the past couple of days she has been fussier than usual. She must be held unless she is in deep sleep. Her feedings are erratic and irregular. She cries and I can't figure out why. I try and think of what to do, but i've had so little sleep that I can barely conjure up a cohesive thought. The immediate feelings of self doubt surface. Is she fussier because I switched her to formula? Should I have tried to breastfeed longer? Is it because i'm missing something that is wrong? Am I not giving her enough of myself? Am I holding her too much? Is she just unhappy? Am I ruining her?

When I decided to hold a scripture study, I didn't realize how much it would challenge me. This month we are focusing on FAITH and HOPE. Easy enough, right? Faith is the most basic principle of religion. Follow Christ, follow the gospel. When I set my intention for this month, I decided to focus on making my faith bigger than my fears. You know what that means? Taking my biggest fears- being a bad mom, failing, being weak- and making them smaller by believing in God's plan... and in myself.

I'm not sure why it can be so hard to have faith in ourselves. We should have the most faith in ourselves because we are in control of ourselves, but it doesn't always work that way. Fear of letting others down, failing, not being enough- it can be all consuming. But the great thing about the gospel, is that it shows us that we are enough. And even in those moments where we fail- Christ is there to pick up the slack. Have faith in yourself... you're doing just fine. And have faith in Christ because he is the reason we can be perfected.

Easier said than done, right? Believe me, I am so not the one to be preaching this right now. But I think in a way that makes me a great advocate. Take it from me; Life is gonna be crazy hard. There are times when you are going to think that you can't possibly do it. These are the times where you take a deep breath (or more accurately you get really angry, kick something, realize you are silly, and THEN take a breath), open up your heart, and lean on God to help you. Help. I think that is a key word. You know how many times i've prayed to Heavenly Father to stop something, start something, take something away... about a million and three. But i've realized that isn't how it works. We have Him to help us, not to just make all the hard stuff disappear. Because, you know what? The hard stuff is why we are here. It's what makes us better. It's what make us stronger.

This month I encourage you to take that tiny seed of faith and nurture it. Maybe you need to have more faith in the gospel, yourself, or even just life itself. So take what you do know and trust it. Believe in it. Let it grow. Even when it's hard. Because you can do it! "Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow, and forever." -Jeffrey R. Holland.

Reading Suggestions for Faithful June:

Alma Chapter 2- We learn that we can take the word of Christ as a little seed in our heart and help it grow through faith. It is this way we can know for ourselves whether it is true or not!

In His Hands: Insights from Women- This little book has incredible stories of inspiration and faith! I love this book because it is an easy read, and is full of great quotes and touching and funny stories.

Find it here.

The Magnolia Story- This is such a cute book! I love me some Chip and Jo Jo. In this book you will find real faith, as this fixer upper couple start their unique life and ride the ups and downs of house flipping and entrepreneurship. Seriously guys, you wont be disappointed.

Find it here.

I hope you guys have a great faithful June! Rejoice in the scriptures and grow closer to Christ by putting your faith in Him!